The bad news is an auto-update brick'd the forum while I was away from my home desktop - which had the logins and tools for database maintenance. It is some incredible coincidence, I'm rarely away so long and the update occurred almost immediately after I left. Frustrated and a bit embarrassed, I had to just watch as the forum sat empty for 2 weeks until I could reach home.
The good news is that I've hired someone to handle the technical aspect of the website for me. From now on someone who will be checking the website twice daily and performing the maintenance updates and fixing the issues that happen with each update. This should never happen again, and I apologise for how long it took to fix.
TGW
Test Post
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All Topics Bumped
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Good Bot.
Ok, now everything should be operational again, and the threads should all be back in their original positions from before the forum brick'd.