You hair grows slowly... super slowly.  You decide that it's starting to bother your neck or that parts of it are getting in your eyes.  You can't see as well and are itchy.  Your dermatologist says the irritation from the hair to your neck can cause redness and irritation it's a good idea to stop.  Additionally, your optometrist says that you may develop a sty. 

Most people just go to the cheapest salon with a coupon.  DollarCuts you hear has amazing prices and will get the job done.  Everyone who goes there seems really pleased.  There are also some other salons in a decent driving distance, so you do a little asking around and checking reviews.  There is one salon, Jay's Magic Salon, that will do some pretty crazy things that look quite nice, but they are anywhere from 10 - 40 x what you can afford.  They do some really weird thing with dying hair... and it looks really interesting... you look into it and want to know what dying hair is all about.  They start talking about something then we age... some roots becoming gray.  You have blond hair and start looking it up on the internet.  Many people with dark hair you start to notice seem to benefit from getting their hair dyed... but only a portion of them get gray roots.  Odd...  then you start to look at other color options... some do this red-looking auburn color.  It looks really pretty.  You call to get an appointment.  She looks at your hair and says... they say that there is no reason to wait until gray hair comes in... that you can get the no-gray preventative treatment now.  You point out that you like red.  She looks at your hair and says... no... that will not be anything that makes sense.  I'm the hairstylist and I've been doing this for 20 years and I know what I'm talking about.  You just only think you know what you saw, because you didn't go to beauty school like me.  She says, you will get the blond dye and it will cost you $40.  You balk at the price.  However, they do this new technique for fullness that sounds really interesting.  They have you turn your head upside down where there is a wind tunnel machine that shoots air at you.  Apparently, you need this since you could use fullness.  This is much higher in price than you thought.

Due to the high pricing at Jay's Magic Salon, you  decide to try Dollar Cuts.  They tell you that you don't need any blond dye, because your hair is already blond.  That kind of makes sense and is cheaper, so you ask what they will do.  They said that your hair is too flat.  They want to use mousse.  You get a little hesitant, because what is mousse?  You ask if it will cost extra and they assure it is included.  You ask what would happen when you try to sleep.  Would your hair return to being flat or would it look fuller?  They say it stays full forever.  You start going online and looking for "mousse hair morning".  You find some startling photos of people whose hair is straight up or different places.  You decide to connect online with them.  One says they love their mouse treatment and it looks great.  However, you can obviously tell that their hair is out of place.  Another says that they didn't know whether they have mousse in their hair and want to know how to tell?  This starts a whole texture debate about the presence of mousse and whether it is good or not.  Then someone starts talking about the smell.  You hear it smells really good.  That has won you over.  You ask Dollar Cuts when the next available appointment is and they say it is in 2 weeks.  That is a while, so you decide it doesn't hurt to get another opinion.  You keep the appointment on the books, though.

Enter: Fantastic Sams.  You realize in going through the mailers that Fantastic Sams is cheaper than all of them (with the coupon)!  You call to ask about setting up an appointment with the coupon.  They tell you that the coupon actually is expired.  You feel deflated, but decide to get a free consult anyway.  You walk in and they say that Ashley just had a cancellation.  You decide to consult with her about your once in a lifetime (maybe twice) haircut.  Again, hair grows super slowly.  You look around at other stylists and ask if Sam was around.  They say he's off on vacation and won't be back until a week and a half from now, but is booked with patrons for the next 3 weeks.  Because Ashley seems soooo nice, it is clear that you really like her and she obviously knows about hair.  She wants to give you a bowl haircut, but doesn't explain this besides saying that she is very happy and capable to get the hair out of your eyes and off your neck.  It will be a few cents more than the DollarCuts salon.  At this point, from price you've ruled out Jay's Magic Salon.  It's way too pricey, but you still like red and think you need fullness.  Ashley promises that the hair will be full and doesn't need mousse.  It is very confusing, because there are no photos.  You look around, though, and everyone else seems happy with their bowl haircuts.  Indeed, the hair is out of their eyes and off their necks!  You tell her you'll consider it and leave.

When you arrive at home, you decide to Google "Fantastic Sams and fullness".  Photos come up of people with bowl haircuts.  In looking at bowl haircut after bowl haircut, you start to notice something.  The guys and the gals look about the same.  It is concerning to you as you want to highlight your own gender features.  You start to look at certain elements of the various haircuts offer masculine or feminine aesthetics.  You start to look at salons outside your region.  Ahhh!  You found it.  The exact haircut you want.  It is red, it is aesthetic for your gender.  You try to find out what that person had.  Then you find that they used red hair dye.  You Google search red hair dye and find that there are many different shades.  It is really startling, though, because someone was quite unhappy that their hair was brighter red.  Others say it lightens with time and so you Google "red haircut pink" and find that hair lightens with time.  This kind of makes sense to you. 

You call the salon and they are out of state.  They explain a little bit on the phone to you, including this special "taper" technique.  THAT is what you want.  A taper.  You go to your upcoming appointment with Ashley.  She insists that red is not needed, but is very good at tapering.  You decide to go ahead.  She won't do red, but you will find a way, you figure.  She starts giving the haircut.  As Ashley is working, you start to notice obvious unevenness!  She assures that it is temporary and will be corrected during treatment.  You relax a bit, but still pay attention.  She works around the front and you show her the photo you like.  She assures that her work matches the photo.  However, in the photo, the bangs are just over the eyebrows and is arced.  In the chair, Ashley appears to be cutting straight across.  You mention it to her and she says then it may be best to go somewhere else.  She cannot see the difference between cutting straight across and with an arc to it like the photo.  You leave disgruntled.  Your hair is no fuller, there is nobody who understands this stuff.  You search online again and again and again..... Finally!  Someone understands what you say.  They say that you need to have the bangs arced.  You ask how the bangs can be arced, because half is already straight across.  She says that you must start from where you are at and go higher to get the desired arc.  You know that your hair will never be the same again.  You ask about fullness and they say that there isn't much you can do about it except to get a little fullness and they say what type of mousse to buy!  You are excited that they know so much.  Unfortunately, the law says you cannot put mousse in your own hair.  Also, you cannot cut your own hair or you can be jailed for copying photos of hair you like... which are licensed and patented.  You dig deeper and realize you have some red markers at home.  You think... what if?  What if I could actually color my own hair with these red markers?!?

You go to the store and start looking at different types of mousse.  You can start understanding what levels of fullness they allow!  You get REALLY excited, because you want super strong hold and you know exactly what you need!  Of course, you cannot purchase, because you're not a Sally's reward member.  The lady behind the counter is super nice and lets you smell the different types of mousse by opening the tops temporarily and sniffing.  Several stink and smell chemically.  You KNOW you don't want those.  A few are okay.  A particular version, Hair Strung Out, smells like heaven!  It is so perfect.  Besides, the experts all generally think fullness is important and this provides the amount you need for your own hair.  You ask if you can see what people look like with it in their hair.  They don't carry photos they say.  However, you learn what is needed (technique) to apply mousse to your own hair.  Apply to hands... smoosh around, distribute evenly when wet.  Wash hands then blow dry.  WOW  This is amazing!  You want to know who shops there so that you can buy it.  The only people are students, though.  You know you don't want someone experimenting on your hair.  You want someone good.

The law allows you to go to your new helper friend... but they are so far away.  They say you have to find someone closeby who is willing to cut according to a paper template they will send.  You have scissors at home and are really good at using them.  You are confident that with the right template taped to the hair that you  can follow the arc.  You feel super uncomfortable with asymmetrical bangs...  People notice, but not quite.  You contact the beauty school and find an advanced student who has used the exact brand of mousse you need and has cut bangs sort of the way you need.  You set up an appointment.  They understand everything you say!  They use the exact mousse you want, because they too have smelled different ones.  However, they need the smile arc-line.  You ask for past customer's photos to see if the bangs look how you want.  They don't have any kept.  They also say that they won't cut the hair so it is full at the bottom by the scissor line.  You're disappointed but have few options.

While waiting for the paper with the arc to be sent by fax or mail or however, you decide to color your own hair red at home.  Everyone else is using markers.  So... you try and it does end up red, but not quite even.  You research and find  you could use some dye and that WalMart carries it for cheap.  You learn the coloration change numbers and want to buy it.  Nobody will sell it, though, because you haven't graduated from beauty school.

This is exactly what is happening.