I can get my tongue far enough back so that I can barely breath through my nose. Mew has said that the tongue should cause some resistance to breathing, but is there a point where the tongue is back too far?
This depends entirely on your individual situation. If you had perfect development, lifting your tongue to the roof of your mouth wouldn't obstruct your airway at all. If you have bad development, lifting your posterior tongue up to the ideal position might totally occlude your airway. If this is the case you have to compromise and back off your tongue enough to breath freely through your nose while still engaging the soft palate.
So is the widening of the airway caused by the forward movement of the maxilla, or from lots of air moving through that passageway while breathing exclusively through your nose? Or both?
The former, undoubtedly. I think it's that and a combination of proper head/neck posture. Combine your mewing w/ mckenzie chin tucks.